Lifestyle

OPINION: Believe me mate, I'm on 'hiss' side

Greg Bray.
Greg Bray. Brenda Strong

HE WAS trying to reason with me. "Look Greg, the snake is actually more frightened than you are," said the bloke running the snake catching course. I stared at the hissing serpent in front of me and thought, "No, it isn't!"

Apparently one of the tasks in my day job is to catch and relocate any snakes that appear in the grounds of my workplace. When I was told this I wished, once again, that I'd made some better career choices.

Up 'til now I've happily relocated any snakes I've met to Snake Heaven, a grassy, warm place with plenty of lazy mice to eat and not a shovel in sight.

Nowadays it's illegal to kill snakes, which is why I've had to learn how to catch them (humanely) and relocate them. To where I haven't worked out yet, but Snake Heaven is no longer an option. But during the course I became uncomfortably aware that many of the snakes I'd relocated were actually harmless. So I did what Mr Snake Catcher asked and tried to see things from the snakes' low point of view.

Basically, snakes have only one expression and one very pointed way of communicating, eg: The "Don't get up, I'm just passing through" bite. The "Hey, that's a shiny spade you're holding" bite. "Do you have any more delicious rats hanging around your shed mate?" bite. And finally, the "I'm sick of getting stepped on, so cop this young Harry!" bite. Bite. Bite!

I eventually calmed down enough to grab the snake with my tongs, then slipped it into a special bag.

Everyone was quite relieved, especially the snake.

Folks, we naturally assume that every snake is a death-dealing, anger-filled psychopath, but they aren't.

I've certainly changed my tune after spending some time in the snakes' shoes ... well, you know what I mean.

Greg Bray blogs at www.gregbraywriter.wordpress.com.

Topics:  greg bray, on a lighter note, opinion, weekend magazine


Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

Our recycling is on the forefront

ECO WARRIORS: Directors of ACT Whitsunday, Jo Pillifeant and Barb Adamson, standing with one of their recognisable blue recycle bins.

ACT Whitsundays is on the verge of closing down.

Revamp improves child safety

SAFETY: Tina Everett, Ron Petterson, Constable Coutney Bellingham and Senior Constable Andy Pratt.

The entry to Cannonval State School is set for a re-vamp.

Sign to strike light into heart of Airlie

AIRLIE'S OWN: The new sign at the Shute Hrabour, Waterson Way roundabout.

Check out the new addition to Airlie Beach.

Local Partners

Storks delivers more than bouncing babies

Storks hits the Bowen Summergarden Cinema this week

Beat the summer heat

COME ENJOY: Anchor Bar head chef Alex Beri and owner Josh Knutson with their delicious soft shell crab with chilli jam aioli and wakame.

Anchor Bar welcomes two new chefs to the team

Our recycling is on the forefront

ECO WARRIORS: Directors of ACT Whitsunday, Jo Pillifeant and Barb Adamson, standing with one of their recognisable blue recycle bins.

ACT Whitsundays is on the verge of closing down.

Revamp improves child safety

SAFETY: Tina Everett, Ron Petterson, Constable Coutney Bellingham and Senior Constable Andy Pratt.

The entry to Cannonval State School is set for a re-vamp.

Sign to strike light into heart of Airlie

AIRLIE'S OWN: The new sign at the Shute Hrabour, Waterson Way roundabout.

Check out the new addition to Airlie Beach.

Deli bounces back

GOOD FOOD: Yvonne and Marino Roberto with their mobile food van.

Marino's are back in action!

Vikings set sail for Proserpine for union carnival

READY: The junior Whitsunday rugby under-12s are ready to do battle in the 'Viking Cup'.

Rugby union's junior carnival will hit Proserpine.

Mackerel fire up around islands

BIG BARRA: Julie Harrison landed this impressive 1.21m barramundi at the dam.

Your latest fishing report

Classic car auction draws buyers from US, Dubai

"He wants everyone to enjoy the cars, the collection got too big'

Bonus point gets Dan and Carleen over the line on The Block

Dan and Carleen in their winning living and dining rooms in a scene from The Block.

BABY boomers win living and dining week as show hits halfway mark.

Olivia Wilde having a girl

Olivia Wilde revealed she is expecting a baby girl.

Michael Palin: Terry Jones dementia is 'painful' to see

Michael Palin has found Terry Jones' decline "painful to watch"

Daniel Radcliffe hoped for haircut anonymity

Radcliffe thought shaving his head would make him more anonymous

Jim Carrey slams 'shameful greed' of lawsuit

Jim Carrey has slammed the "shameful greed" of White's ex-husband.

Storks delivers more than bouncing babies

TOO CUTE: A scene from the movie Storks, which is showing at Bowen Summergarden Cinema this week.

Storks hits cinemas this week

Property 200m from ocean selling for just over $100K

BEACHCOMBER PARK: Work has started on a new $19.2 million development at Toogoom.

The estate's developer is offering huge discounts for early buyers.

UPDATE: Former rodeo champ's sale rained out, now back on

Larkhill local Ken Consiglio is having an auction of most of the things on his property.

'People kept showing up and we had to turn them away'

First stages of $25 million housing development underway

New development on Madsen Rd - The Springs.

The blocks of land are much bigger than usual

Couple build their own 'tiny house' for $45k

Holly Bowen and Oli Bucher built their "tiny house" themselves, only hiring a plumber and an electrician. Photo/supplied

The house, which is built on a trailer and can be towed.

Rocky proves prime real estate in latest REIQ report

Kas Woch sold this Wood St home in Depot Hill for $107,000 in August.

A new investor's market as Rocky house prices hit lowest in state

Sunshine Beach property breaks real estate record

The property overlooks Sunshine Beach, as the backyard lawn meets the sand.

Sunshine Beach mansion sale smashes real estate record