Bach’s bitter ex crashes island
TWO stroppy walkouts and a vengeful ex crashing the island have set the tone for Bachelor In Paradise's finale week.
You know when someone dumps you and you go out of your way to avoid them, their friends and their mum at all costs? Even if it means not going to your favourite coffee shop anymore and doing all your shopping at a Westfield located in the next town over?
Well, Florence doesn't have this kind of anxiety.
After Jake dumped her in favour of Megan, she's had a brainwave. Just as the boat moored back in Australia, she yelled something in Dutch and made them turn the ship around.
"Jake sent me home … I'm going to make his life a living hell," she tells us as she walks back into the Fijian resort on Sunday night's episode.
Jake reacts appropriately.
Asked by the gals why she came back when clearly no one here is interested in her, Florence laughs wickedly.
"I'm like a cockroach. He try crush me and I come back," she grins.
Keira gets it. She knows what it's like to have pent up dialogue ready to spit in your ex's face. But she also has respect for time and place.
"Couldn't you wait till after Paradise and DM the guy on Instagram? It's not that hard," she says with the knowledge of past experience.
We're then treated to a supercut of Florence bitching about Jake.
An hour later, her audience has changed. But Florence's topic of conversation has not.
"HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND THEN GAVE MEGAN THE ROSE," she growls. "F*******CK JAAAAAAKE."
Meanwhile, Elora still hates Eden and Eden is still misinterpreting her angst for affection.
She has to sit him down and tell him to seriously back off please.
Eden makes a bunch of his trademark creepy facial expressions.
He then throws a tantrum because no one likes him and stomps through a kilometre of hibiscus bushes. He's gone. And he doesn't tell anyone. But more importantly, no one really notices.
With only a few days left until this circus wraps up, Osher drops by to inform us they'll be introducing no more new monkeys.
"I hope you all make the most of it," he smiles. With overcast skies above, everyone looks down into their warm, melted daiquiris.
Suddenly, Leah starts stomping around again. For the twenty-fifth day in a row, she's threatening to leave. No one bats an eye.
"I wanted to go out with my head held high. I'm gonna go out in style," she informs us.
We then cut to rough and ready footage of her on the floor of her twin-share villa rummaging through unwashed belongings splayed in a messy pile.
Keep that head high, Leah.