Crime idea SO WE we are going to have a real fair dinkum federal crime busting squad to rake in all the big crims that have been robbing our fair country blind. If this thing ever gets off the ground and an agreeable arrangement is made with the states, pigs might fly. A great place to start would be Canberra. Canberra has always been regarded by the general public as a hot bed of skulduggery and mayhem. I am sure they will get plenty of advice from the public, so let's toss in my bit. Let's start with the bikies. Not to kill them all off like American FBI stuff, but we could convert 'em. For a start, a spooky name like devils teeth, could be changed to mumma's darlings and painted on their jackets, helmets to be painted bright yellow, no more chains to be worn, but garlands of flowers. Those big stompin' boots to be replaced with thongs. Their beards must be dyed in their tribal colours, so they don't get mixed up when they are fighting each other, or they may kill their mates. Still for all of this, they must not be deprived of their transport. The beloved roaring hogs of bikies be replaced by gaily painted second hand push bikes with of course, school marm handlebars. What an improvement to the sound of the decibels when on their annual migrations, they come cranking through a town, making wirths circus look pale. No need for the good townsfolk to lock up their wives and daughters, pedal power on a hot summer's day could take care of that. They could be greeted with glasses of water to cool their sweating brows. If they want to break any rules, they won't be put in jail, but have to walk around the streets singing hymns. Now if we can get enough politicians with enough guts to legislate and bring it into law, it could be a show case for the world to see how civilised we Australians are. John N Tyree WILSON BEACH