Risky Cup outfit that paid off
LADIES and gentleman! The race that stops a nation. It happened yesterday apparently.
To be honest, it was hard for me to know what did or didn't happen as I walked in the front door at 10pm last night after consuming what can only be described as eleventeen flagons of chardonnay at a Cup Day lunch.
I'd prefer not to enter into the debate about whether horseracing is one of our nation's great pastimes, or a heinous and unnecessary act of animal cruelty. Instead, I'm here to do what I do best, and cast judgment over celebrity fashion from behind my chardonnay-soaked fascinator.
I'll admit that since Brynne Edelsten stopped attending the Cup, I haven't been quite as enthralled with the Birdcage and the fashion crimes committed by those trapped within it. But given it's 2018 and we've had 18 Prime Ministers this year alone, I've resolved to turn over a new leaf and get totes excited about it again.
Here are some memorable looks from the celeb contingent in yesterday's Birdcage.
Princess Leia, eat your damned heart out. As stunning as she is, this is a giant pie in the face of racing attire etiquette. I'm a celebrity and I'll wear a crazy ol' fancy dress calico smock if I wanna.
Stop: Hammer time. Those that know me know that yellow makes me giggle merrily with glee. I've seen this look already lambasted by the critics, but I'll not have a bar of it. She looks chic-er than a V8, bros. I will acquiesce that racing attire, this is not, but I would 11/10 wear this to brunch with the ladeez. And I'd be comfortable as HECK doing it, too.
Just as the sun sets in the west, as J. Hawkins' Myer contract comes to an end, so too does Megan Gale reappear at the races after a 61-year hiatus. This is sweet and whimsical, and though I don't care for the sheer upper, I hear the climate was akin to the arctic tundra today in Melbourne-town, however, so I'll allow it. Would have preferred the hair up with such a high neck.
Jules has toned things down quite a bit from her avant-garde, Clockwork Orange Derby Day ensemble. This is pleasant, albeit a trifle dull, though extra points for her excellent shoes and her hat, which doubles as an aggressive deterrent to passing magpies. Her partner, David Panton, looks 100 per cent stoked with life.
Oh Linds, probs shoulda caught the bus! Look at those creases. Somebody pass me the steamer STAT. A pleasing little mini frock that could have been elevated by some more impressive headwear.
Jockey Michelle Payne has delighted me with this kooky ensemble. It's very Carmen Miranda meets the fabric of the couches at the Palazzo Versace, and I'm digging it. Digging it DEEP. Love the turban and the fact that she took a risk that paid off.
On the other hand, you can see ol' Rach Griffiths pretty much checked out of the fashun pissing contest that is the Birdcage. She's gone for comfort and warmth, paired with a sturdy hat that Pharrell Williams would covet. It's a "meh" for me.