When is it appropriate to ask for a gift back after you've given it?

The answer is probably - rarely. But few people could argue that it is ever OK to ask for a gift back from a pregnant friend after they lost their baby, Kidspot reports.

Sadly, this appears to have happened to one grieving mum, whose story ended up on Reddit.

In screenshots, shared to the Choosing Beggars Subreddit, a mum who recently suffered a stillbirth at 29 weeks, shared her story.

"I didn't want to put this out here, but I have no choice," the woman wrote on her Facebook page.

"(Name crossed out) bought me some beautiful gifts for Benjamin for when he was born.

"A soft fleece blanket, cuddly elephant, booties, some clothes and a singing toy.

"I didn't ask for these things; as I said, they were gifts."

She went on to explain that her son Benjamin was born at 29 weeks and tragically didn't survive.

"A week later (Name crossed out) messages me asking if Benjamin used or touched the things she bought because if not … she wanted them back!" the woman wrote, clearly in disbelief.

She shared screenshots of the awkward conversation with her now ex-friend.

For more stories like this, go to kidspot.com.au

The post that was shared on Reddit. Picture: Facebook
The post that was shared on Reddit. Picture: Facebook

AN INSANE REQUEST

The screenshots of Facebook messages start with the ex-friend contacting her.

"Hey, hun just wondering if u used the bits n bobs I got for the baby?" she wrote. "If not I can give them to Laura's little one. Hope your [sic] OK and resting up hun?"

She then followed up with another message.

"Let me know hun before I buy more stuff, save a bit of money before Xmas, you know how it is."

Finally, the grieving mother responded.

"I'm not doing OK," she replies.

"I'm heartbroken."

"I can't believe you're asking me at the moment, but yes I still have the things except for the blanket, he will be buried with it because it is warm and I thought it was stunning. I mean … I hope that's OK for you?!?"

You would have thought that is where things would have stopped.

But the friend kept going.

"Aww hun, sorry I know its [sic] a tough time, I'm sorry," she wrote. "I just needed to know before I spend anymore, is there a chance you have another blanky for him babe?

"Like you said its [sic] nice and warm and Laura's baby can have use of that."

After that completely insane request, the friend quickly adds that she's "there" for her friend if she really needs her.

"I've been having a tough time myself lately so I'm here online and on my phone all the time for u if you need to chat," but she then added. "Let me know though about the blanket quickly though."

The woman’s friend asked for the baby gifts back.
The woman’s friend asked for the baby gifts back.

SHE STILL DIDN'T GIVE UP

The woman wisely ignored her friend but she followed up with another message about the blanket.

"What if I popped round tomorrow?" she wrote. "I can pick it up then babe."

This finally provoked a response from the poor mother.

"No! Don't come here, please," she wrote. "The blanket is in with Benjamin!

"You can have the rest (of the things) I'll drop them off at yours, don't even think of coming here. My husband is fuming with these messages you are sending me a week after I lose my baby.

"They're packed in a bag … I'll leave them at yours. The blanket is with Benjamin he is having 'use' out of it thank you very much."

The friend responded again, this time defending herself and saying that she was patient but she needed to know for financial reasons.

The friend then had the nerve to ask the mother for money to cover the cost of the blanket. At this point, the mother wisely stopped replying and did not return anything to the woman, simply cutting her off instead.

It left her furious.
It left her furious.

'GARBAGE HUMAN'

The people of Reddit blew up over this one.

"Imagine harassing a grieving mother over stuff that amounts to pocket change," one person wrote.

"I hope the woman blocks her out of her life entirely," wrote another. "Wow … what a garbage human."

While some people did suggest that 2020 has been rough on people financially, few people felt like the woman was justified demanding money from a grieving mother over a gift.

What would you do in this situation? Tell us in the comments below.

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced with permission

Originally published as Friend's awful text after woman's stillbirth


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