There’s a big problem with the plastic bag ban
THE urge to throw a tantrum in a Coles can overtake even the most level headed individual since the whole bag ban came into action.
And not just the typical "I'd like to speak to the manager" kind of tantrum. These tantrums have the capacity to be explosive. Like, flipping the Red Spot Specials table while screaming, "I blame Waleed for this!"
There's something about the bag ban tantrum that is particularly vicious.
This week I came close to throwing a tantrum so large fellow shoppers would've felt compelled to film it on their iPhones and send it to A Current Affair.
It wasn't about the lack of free, provided bags, necessarily. I'd brought my own. A super cute backpack, FYI. The annoyance was in regards to an unresolved issue that Coles don't seem to be getting on top of.
The problem is that the self-serve check-outs freak out when you put your own bag down to stack your items in.
Because BYO bags are heavier, the checkout detects it as an unscanned item and then it accuses you of stealing and red lights start flashing and fellow shoppers begin staring and pointing and you have to wait an uncomfortably long time for the self-serve checkout monitor in a vest to come over to scan their card and calm the machine down.
And then when you go to scan another item and place it in the bag, it freaks out again like before and the line monitor has to come over about 15 more times.
It's so infuriating I've sent emails to Coles about it and, out of everything to do with the bag ban, what I hate most is it has turned me into one of those people who sends perturbed emails to supermarket chains.
Of course, there's a bunch of other annoying things to do with the bag ban but I feel like you're not allowed to say them otherwise you'll be accused of single-handedly bleaching the Great Barrier Reef.
Busy mums have become so disgruntled they've taken to lifting their full trolleys into their 4WDs and driving away with them. It's not clear how they're lifting the trolleys up into the boot by themselves but it seems they're anger is Hulk-like. This level of passive aggressive behaviour is both enviable and commendable.
And if anyone has video of this, please send it to A Current Affair or my personal email.
Trent Dalton's Boy Swallows World. It's one of dem thick books.
If that's too much, watch this: The full uncensored comedy actress roundtable chat the Hollywood Reporter has done with Debra Messing, Drew Barrymore and Molly Shannon. Clips have been rolling out for a month but this is the whole glorious thing.
Addicted to Florence and The Machine's new album, High As Hope. As usual, Florence is all moody and dramatic and it'll make you want to do a scarf dance around some candles.
It's more of a re-watch. Love, Simon is released on iTunes this week. If you didn't catch it in the cinema, watch it this weekend. And if you're the parent of a beautiful gay kid, close this article right now and watch it immediately.
Twitter and Facebook: @hellojamesweir